1. Coffee – genuinely, honestly, truly and sincerely – helps.
2. Friends are people who can make you laugh when it’s all going wrong, and celebrate with you when it’s going well. Good friends do both those things, but also step in and do something to take the pressure off when they see your head’s about to explode.
3. Eating crisps by the multipack makes you gain an awful lot of weight.
4. If you drop a handful of change comprising of several pennies, lots of 2p/5p pieces, and one pound coin, the only one that will roll down the nearby drain will be the pound coin.
5. Laughing is good for you.
6. Hedgehogs climb walls.
7. If you leave a carton of milk sitting out all day, then take a drink from it, you will throw up quite violently.
8. You can go through a whole day without seeing anyone you know, but the moment you accidentally drive the wrong way down a one-way street, you will see many, many familiar faces watching your humiliation in sympathetic amusement.
9. When you’re really dreading going somewhere, the roads will be clear and all the traffic lights will be green. When you’re late, traffic jams will actually materialise before your eyes, lights will stay red for ten minutes at a time, and you’ll inevitably have to stop for a train at the level crossing.
10. When you’ve been lying awake for half an hour willing yourself to get out of bed, and you finally make the decision to do it, the cat will come and curl up right beside you, all warm and snuggly, and start to purr in a very soothing and sleep-inducing way.