“Horse!” I shout loudly, “Horrrrrrrrse!”
He Who Brings The Coffee appears, en route to work, carefully carrying the day’s coffee rations. He stops and looks curiously at me. “Um… Hails? Why are you standing in the car park shouting ‘horse, horse’?” he asks cautiously. I continue to scan the surrounding fields, apple in one hand, the other hand shielding my eyes in the manner of all good look-out-ers. “Where is the horse?” I demand anxiously. “Horse!!”
HWBTC stares at me. “I’m sure it has a name, you know.” “Yes… Horse,” I tell him crossly. “Horse!! Horrrrrse!”
“Oh good grief. Stop saying horse!” demands HWBTC. There is a brief pause, filled by a sudden loud clamour of quacking from the lake.
“Ducks!” exclaims HWBTC.
“Horse!” I yell defiantly.
“Look how many ducks there are!” continues HWBTC excitedly, ignoring me. “At least two dozen!”
“It’s like an invasion,” I say gloomily as he begins to count the ducks. The quacking becomes eerily aggressive as they splash around in an agitated manner. I suddenly panic for the safety of Horse.
“At least two dozen,” says HWBTC, happily.
“Maybe they got the horse,” I add, sadly.
“What are you two doing?” Granny sticks her head out of the kitchen window.
“Ducks!” says HWBTC, gesturing towards the Bizarre Cullybackey Duck Invasion.
“I’m sure they have names,” I say sarcastically.
“Yep,” agrees HWBTC, resuming his counting. “Duck with Orange… Duck with Hoisin Sauce…”
“Duck with Pancakes…”
The window slams shut. You have to feel sorry for Granny, sometimes.