There are moments in life when you realise you’re a grown-up.
For some, it’s when they settle into their first ‘real’ job.
For some, it’s when they move out of their parents’ house and start fending for themselves.
For some, it’s when they buy their first house.
It was none of those things for me. I don’t see myself as a grown-up, despite what it might say on my birth certificate. In my heart, I will always be a teenager. However, occasionally I do have those awful, shuddering moments of realisation that, like it or not, I am an Actual Adult now. Tonight’s was the worst.
Yes, for me, it was taking a detour to B&Q on the way home from work. To purchase a new toilet seat.
Only a grown-up would ever do such a thing. It only hit me when I got into the car and placed my new toilet seat on the floor beside me: I am a grown-up. Someone who leaves work, drives to B&Q, walks determinedly to the bathroom section, surveys the selection of toilet seats (whilst trying to remember what colour the bathroom is), picks one (the cheapest one), marches to the checkout, spends the last tenner in their purse (on a toilet seat), and leaves the store with a feeling of achievement and satisfaction, toilet seat under arm.
It’s very depressing. I kind of want to watch cartoons and eat a packet of Haribo now, just to restore the balance.