It was freezing this morning.
By ‘freezing’ I mean ‘frozen’ and by ‘it’ I mean ‘my car windscreen’.
Of course, being the responsible, organised and sensible adult that I am, I simply had to take my defroster spray from the plentiful supply in my glove compartment, spritz all the glass, switch on the heating, and sit calmly for a moment as the problem took care of itself, having naturally left the house a good five minutes early in the knowledge that I would have to perform this task.
Believe any of that and you clearly don’t know me at all.
And so it came to pass that at the time I was supposed to be entering the radio studio, I was scraping a layer of frost off the outside of the windscreen, and frantically polishing the inside with the furry collar of a coat I found in the back seat. With ice beneath my fingernails and a grim expression on my face, I drove
like a maniac somewhat hastily into town.
Every year. This is a case study of One Who Never Learns.