Last night, I dreamt about an overflowing toilet.
I think this speaks volumes about my state of mind, but as this is not a psychoanalytic post we won’t go looking for hidden meanings. Anyway, what concerns me is my unprecedented level of Utter Stupidity in the dream. The toilet, when I arrived at it, was unflushed and disgusting. Naturally, my instinct was to gag and flush. Unfortunately, it was only at this point that I discovered the reason for the unflushed condition of the toilet; – i.e. that it was severely blocked. The water level rose and rose, I started to panic, and suddenly – in a most dramatic fashion – it all spilled over on to the floor in manner of Niagara Falls or similar spectacular water feature.
So there I am, mopping up stinky water and various other… stuff… from the floor, while the toilet continues to spew it out. Finally, I catch on and proceed to ram a toilet brush as far round the U-bend as it will go, until, to my relief, the water suddenly all drains away. I frantically clean the bathroom floor. I glance into the toilet, which now contains no water but is, erm, not entirely empty.
I give it an innocent flush.
Instantly, the whole scenario is repeating itself. It is Groundhog Day only with sewage. I am trapped in this strange bathroom, doomed to an existence of flushing toilets and cleaning floors while trying not to throw up. The same thing happens over and over again; as soon as the place is cleaned up, I flush the toilet and relive the whole ordeal.
I woke up in a state of nervous exhaustion. Maybe I need professional help.
Like a plumber.