Sister’s big plans for the weekend have fallen through, and she has decided she wants to accompany me to Dublin. “I’ll have 3 CDs of Sixties music, my SatNav, and sandwiches,” she promises. “I’ll be good – in fact, I’ll probably be hungover. Can I meet K8 the Gr8 and Grannymar?”
This is good, because it means I can take Rio the Clio and drive back the same night, since I’ll have someone to keep me awake on the way home. This in turn saves me about £50. Also, I’d forgotten she has a SatNav – think about this, boys and girls. For the first time EVER, it will be an actual impossibility for me to get lost! Things are looking up. Never mind the fact that I have Grannymar waiting to mother me/introduce me to her toyboys, and K8 the Gr8 willing to make me look cool by being my friend. And I don’t have to wear a girly dress!
Sister and I have even pre-programmed our destination into the SatNav, a process causing great confusion and some distress when we realised we had to travel 395 miles. Fortunately, that particular Alexander Hotel turned out to be in Blackpool. “Hang on, I think I’ve got it now,” said Sister, staring intently at the SatNav screen. “There’s a wee green dot, there. Is that it?” I joined her in peering at the screen. “I’m not sure,” I mused uncertainly, “Is Dublin not down a bit?” Sister shook her head and waved me away impatiently. “No, it’s at the top, somewhere near the red dot,” she insisted.
With a combined geographical awareness of this strength, we are sure to have a flawless journey.