The Facebook Friend

As I idly scanned the list of my friends’ status updates on Facebook, I noticed that one friend’s announcement that she was “really tired now, and going to bed” was immediately followed by another friend informing me that he was “trying to work, but [had] a sore head”. Intrigued by the thought of Facebook status updates forming rhyming couplets, I decided to play around with the idea. Yes, work is a bit scarce at the moment. Why do you ask?

Anyway, this poem is the end product. It is made up entirely of status updates (both complete and partial) from people on my friends list within the past few days. I daresay someone somewhere has already had this idea, and with much better results than I’ve achieved, but for now I’ll happily delude myself and claim it as my very own idea until someone points me to the inevitable Original Version. It was fun to do, and I actually kinda like it…

The Facebook Friend

Is grumpy, is happy, is lonely, is sad,
Is angry, is hungry, is frazzled, is mad.
Is really tired now, and going to bed,
Is trying to work but has a sore head.
Is very sleepy and in a bad mood,
Is in a dream world, is feeling good.
Got coffee, has the sound of drills in his ear,
Is eating her first Easter egg of the year!
Is looking forward to her dinner date,
Is panicking ‘coz her essay is late.
Got her own place, wants to talk,
Has forgotten how to walk.
Planted a tree, bought a red nose,
Is in denial, loves the red roses.
Is very nervous – new boss starts this morning,
Wishes relationships came with a warning.
Dropped his lunch on the kitchen floor,
Ate too much (blurgh), is watching 24.
Was on vibration plates – not a pretty sight,
Is looking forward to being wined and dined tonight.
Is pondering, feels crap, respects Jack Bauer,
Has been sitting on her feet for an hour.
Olllllll (keyboard hijacked by cat),
Is going to look at another flat.
Just learned how to play Gin Rummy,
Has two sick children, is such a dummy!
Is happy for Venezuela, is told he snores,
Has no direction any more.
Can’t wait for the weekend, can’t wait till tomorrow,
Can’t wait to watch the DVD he just borrowed.
Is grinning, is puzzling, is ready to go,
Is chillin’, is starting to like the snow.
Wonders where that damn puppy has got to,
Can do the CanCan but would prefer not to.
Did 2K on the treadmill, needs alcohol,
Has the AGM tonight, is having a ball.
Got the bill but is refusing to pay it,
Can’t believe they didn’t play it!
Needs crutches for a kid, found a home for the cat,
Would do anything for love, but won’t do that.
Is cooking dinner for his beautiful girl,
Is seriously pissed, is eating a Twirl (mmmm).
Is happy for a friend, shares his wife’s concerns,
Is still studying, needs a hug, never learns.


16 thoughts on “The Facebook Friend

  1. Cheers girlies – and EM, I had to leave out the ones that didn’t scan well! Believe me, I really wrestled with “cajun squirrel flavour”. I so wanted it to work…

    To be fair, your “needs alcohol” is there, and that’s a fairly important one. :)

  2. Thanks for the comments everyone. I love it when I accidentally do something that entertains! :)

    PS – and yes, McBouncy, I saw your explanation! Bizarre…

  3. magpie11 says:

    BRILLIANT! May I use it as a starter for a literacy lesson? Please>>>

    I once spent a whole morning trying to teach in rhyming and very hard work.

  4. Ohhh! My ‘work’ used in a literacy lesson? HA HA HA! Ahem. Sorry. Yes, by all means. I hope it goes well! And I love the idea of teaching in rhyimg couplets. You sound like the kind of teacher I would love! :)

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