I am

D@ve recently issued a poetry challenge. Being thoroughly miserable and full of self pity, I figured that it was a good time to be writing poetry – and a friend pointed out to me the other day that “this pain is good for you in that it gets you further towards the top of the experience ladder, and that’s what makes a top-class writer”. So allow me to indulge in angsty and pretentious poetry, and bear with me as I wallow.
The poem is to be called I Am, and each line follows the template given on D@ve’s post. It is drivel, but it is heartfelt drivel. It’s theraputic, although probably not for you, the reader. And anyway, it’s D@ve‘s fault (in that he set the challenge, not that he dumped me and left me heartbroken, lest anyone jump to that conclusion), so blame him.

I am still me, and I am not giving up.

I wonder what it is that you couldn’t find in me. Or what you once found in me, but can no longer. 

I hear your voice, telling me I’m special.

I see your eyes, looking into mine, with love.

I want to hide away and cry.

I am still me, and I am not giving up.

I pretend to myself that I need you, but I don’t.

I feel lost, and scared, and betrayed, but I’m not. Not really. Because when

I touch the tears with my fingertips, I know that they’re the pain leaving. And yet

I worry that it will never stop hurting.

I cry when I think of you, erasing me from your life, pretending I don’t exist.

I am still me, and I am not giving up.

I understand that I’m better off without someone who can make me feel like this.

I say I’ll be fine, and pray that I will be. 

I dream of being a rock, an island. No one could touch me. 

I try to forget and move on. I’m trying so hard. 

I hope you haven’t broken me. But

I am still me, and I am not giving up.


6 thoughts on “I am

  1. You are a lonnnnng way from broken, and you are not giving up!

    We are all behind you, reaching out to touch and mend your heart. The sun will shine tomorrow even if only for a minute, but it WILL SHINE!


  2. You should try and get it published, it’s so moving. I’ll have to air my quick attempt at an ‘I am’ poem ‘ I wrote last week, though I cheated and based my on a different character.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s