Going Home For Hugs

It’s been a very long 24 hours. Well, it’s been a very long week, come to that.

I’m now in Krakow. The 9 hour bus journey overnight from Vilnius to Warsaw was a killer, particularly as there was another middle of the night cheeseburger incident. This time, I actually saw the food stand, and went over enthusiastically, a cheeseburger being a sudden bright spot in an otherwise gloomy week. The cheeseburgers smelt good. They looked good, too. I rummaged in my purse and pulled out my last 10 litas. The cheeseburger man looked rather annoyed by this, and started babbling excitedly at me, waving my money away.

For a second, I thought he was giving me a free cheeseburger because he liked the look of me. Then, with a sinking feeling, I turned to a nearby passenger. Erm… what country are we in? I asked, somewhat forlornly. I asked several more non-English speaking people before deciding that I knew the answer anyway and traipsing dejectedly back to the bus, Lithuanian money in hand, and no Polish cheeseburger in stomach. It was all very sad.

Then to arrive in Warsaw and discover that it is suddenly mid November and the skies are grey and there are puddles everywhere and lashing rain… woe. Woe. I trudged dismally into the station, walked around the entire (very scary, dilapidated and slightly seedy) building looking for the toilet, then repeated the process looking for a currency exchange place so I could get money to pay to actually use said toilet. Then I peeked outside the station and decided that I hated Warsaw, and also that I was going back home to my mum and dad and Kat the Cat.

This was possibly all a bit much to have come from one glance at Warsaw from the station door, but it had been building for some time. I didn’t give up and run home as soon as the break-up happened. I went, I did, I saw, I tried. But I can’t think about work and money and accommodation and the future and all that stuff when I haven’t even been able to cry on the shoulder of a friend yet. I can’t focus on planning when not only am I freaking out that all my money is seeping away, but I’m still a dazed, confused, hurting mess. I need time out to recover, take stock, and start again.

And start again I shall. But there’s no point in sitting here on my own, not wanting to socialise and not able to think straight, just because I’m too proud to say I need to go home for a little while. I feel relieved to have made the decision, although less relieved to have used up all my remaining money to book the flight.

I’m in Krakow now – I just got straight on to another bus in Warsaw, although not before I sat mournfully getting soaked to the skin for over an hour, due to my being completely witless and not realising that Poland was in a different time zone from Lithuania. Then the journey ended up taking about 6 or 7 hours, when for some reason I’d had it in my head that it was 2 or 3. By the time I arrived in Krakow (which looks much nicer than my first impressions of Warsaw!) I could only drag myself to the hostel, beg them to take me in, and head straight for a hot shower and bed.

So. Tomorrow concludes the first chapter of my travels. I plan to go and see Auschwitz tomorrow, and meet up with some hostel friends in the evening, and then it’s back to The Parents on Thursday. But I’m not giving up, mind! The Sad is only for a time. And then I’m getting back out there, ready for chapter two…

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9 thoughts on “Going Home For Hugs

  1. I would have given up and gone home long before now.
    Enjoy your hugs Hails… can’t wait for Chapter 2!
    “See” you when I get back from Rome xxx

  2. Hil says:

    Have been following you for a while now. You need your folks, girl. Also, Auschwitz? Very, very sad place.
    Take care and safe journey home.

  3. MoNkeY MrS says:

    Yeh you’re coming home, be good to see you. I think that you’ve had an amazing adventure this year,i certainly couldn’t have done it on my own. Perhaps I will see you soon.
    xxx

  4. McBouncy says:

    See you at the airport my friend. Then home to the parents for a good nights sleep, and on friday I am going to take you out and treat you to the best cheeseburger in the world….

  5. The Parents says:

    Auschwitz is indeed a very sad place and knowing what those people suffered will maybe make your own problems seem less important and help you to get on with the rest of your adventures. In the meantime hugs are at the ready. See you soon. xxoo

  6. Jane says:

    I have followed your blog for quite some time now and have thoroughly enjoyed your humor, wisdom and the insight inspired by your adventures . However, the one reason I consistently check your blog is — how wonderfully well you write! You have a marvelous gift. And it is the power of that gift which prompts me to “delurk” and say how glad I am to hear you have decided to return home for a visit.
    I seldom comment on a blog, simply because I feel as though I might be intruding into a private conversation. However, I have become quite fond of you, (despite the fact that you have no idea of whom I might be [60+ female married to love-of-my-life for 40 years , mother of 3 delightful sons – I am quite safe] and I applaud your decision to return home.
    Home is a place where you can be safe, recover, recoup and take a moment to plan the next adventure. It is not a retreat from strife, but simply a place where you can take a quiet breath , find strength from those who love you and prepare to return to — whatever– you choose. If you were my daughter, I would celebrate your accomplishments and your courage. Say hi to your parents – they raised a delightful daughter. Cordially, Jane

  7. bevchen – have fun! And thanks for all the encouragement you’ve given me.
    Hil – thank you for commenting! And yes… it’s good to be with mum and dad again.
    MonkeyMrs – Think MonkeyMan would let you come with me and be my travelling partner next time? ;)
    Grannymar – you can count on seeing me sometime!
    McBouncy – I am looking forward to my cheeseburger!!!
    Nelly – Perhaps. I’m considering Egypt. But I’m scared of heat!
    Parents – too right… see the next few posts to come…
    Jane – really, quite honestly, this may be the nicest comment I’ve ever received. Thank you so much – you have no idea how much encouragement you gave to a sad and worried girl on her own in Poland this morning! Your words meant an awful lot. Oh, and always feel free to join in with the comments – you’re not intruding, I publish this on the internet for all to see, after all! I love to hear from readers. You are as much a part of the “conversation” as anyone else. Thanks again. :)

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