Well, kids: I’m out of here.
Prague has not been a good chapter of my life, so I’m skipping to the end and turning to the next chapter several months earlier than I’m supposed to.
Really, I should have thrown in the towel sooner. You know how you just get a gut feeling, sometimes? When I arrived in Korea in 2009, alone and mildly terrified, I instantly felt right about it. Everything clicked. Even though I spent the first few months practically on my own, I was happy from the start. I loved my new life, new job, and new surroundings. I knew I’d made the right move.
Here, it’s been like a mirror image opposite of that experience. I dislike my new job, and my surroundings make me miserable and desperate to escape. And you know, I kind of resigned myself to sticking it out until the end of my contract in June, simply because I’m not one to rock the boat. Last week, however, it hit me: I was spending 50% of my time excitedly and longingly counting down the days and hours until my flight home for Christmas… and the other 50% in utter misery at the thought of coming back again. I haven’t even gone home yet and I’m dreading coming back? That’s not good!
So I threw it open to chance and applied for about 10 random jobs in various other European countries, just to see what to expect. I arranged 3 interviews, one of which I stopped halfway through and politely withdrew my interest, as it sounded like a case of out of the frying pan and into the fire. The other 2 led to job offers, and another possibility may have cropped up today through a friend. It was all I needed – proof that I wouldn’t be mad to quit without a job lined up. I can find something else, and that whole CELTA thing was worth it, apparently. ;)
Yes, it’s a risk. I could, after all, end up hating wherever I go as much as I hate this! But I know in my heart that even if it’s not any better, it can’t be much worse. It’s a risk worth taking, because I honestly feel that I have nothing to lose. Most ‘new year start’ jobs are contracted from January till June, and I would have been leaving here in June anyway. If I stay, I’ll be living in a continuous countdown until then. If I go somewhere else, I might find myself either doing the same thing, or having a much better experience. Once I saw it like that, my decision was made. Even if it’s another bad move, I won’t have lost anything.
I haven’t yet decided where I’m going, but I will over the holidays. And tomorrow, I fly home to my family. I’ll come back and tie up all the loose ends next month… but for now, I’m breathing a huge sigh of relief and looking forward to a hard-earned break. I’m on my way out of here, and I’m going to see my loved ones in a matter of hours! And it’s Christmas! And I just drank a bottle of Czech wine I was taking home as a Christmas gift! (oops – but nerves were shot to pieces, to be fair, and I famously loathe packing)
To admitting defeat and getting out. Cheers. :)